I warned you about this

From 6 Dark Secrets Harbored By Your Favorite Foods By Jim Avery

#5. Almond Milk Is More Like Almond Water (And Is Ruining The Environment)

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Recently, the world has discovered that almonds are more than something you can insert into a candy bar to make people complain about them. Hailed as a "superfood," they're starting to show up in all sorts of recipes, and they're now a popular milk substitute. Most of us have seen that bizarre talking almond monstrosity in the Silk commercials, while the UK gets to drink Alpro, which is probably represented by a talking beaver or some shit.

Alpro
OK, you win, England. This one's more disturbing.

But how do they make almond milk, anyway? If almonds had boobs, we probably would have noticed by now. Put simply, they take water and add a bunch of ground-up almonds to it. And by that, we mean that around two percent of Alpro "almond" milk is actually almonds. A handful of almonds is 160 calories, while a cup of almond milk is only 30 calories; to get the same health benefits as that handful of almonds, you need to chug an entire carton of almond milk like you're joining the world's wussiest fraternity. Almond milk has more potassium and vitamins, but those things are directly injected during the production process; it's like they tossed a single multivitamin into the mix.

Not only that, but this obsession with almonds is ruining the environment. California is the source of maybe 80 percent of the world's almonds, and almonds require water, by virtue of being things that grow. Meanwhile, California is also suffering from nearly unprecedented droughts, while almond farmers siphon off water from underground reserves to keep growing their crops. We'd make a pun with the word "nuts" right now, but Cracked HQ is in Santa Monica, so we're too dehydrated to think of anything.

motherjones.com
That water spike before 2003 was the torrent of tears from Firefly getting cancelled.

So our most populated state is going thirsty so we can provide the world with its favorite candy-ruiner and pretend we're too good for regular milk. Nice, everyone.